The Lovely Eggs

@ Heaven

By Captain Stavros

I’d like you to close your eyes and envision the word underbelly.  Not a particularly palatable word, is it?  Hold that thought, or better yet, feeling of repulsion and come with me on a journey below Charing Cross station.  Let your mind drift along the sloping gutters that dump their sewage into the Thames.  What’s that frothy scum floating atop that grey-water towards the proverbial underbelly otherwise known as Heaven, you may be asking yourself?  Why it’s none other than The Lovely Eggs! If you’re unfamiliar with TLE, they’re a swear-y, thump-y, psychedelic two-piece from Lancaster, England, that formed in the mid 2000s (the height of indie sleaze).  By some Frankenstein-esque miracle, they’re still alive and kicking today, and have even collaborated with the likes of the great Iggy Pop.  Their latest release ‘I-Moron’ came out the same day as their London gig, and I had the unfortunate displeasure to come along for the skin crawling ride.  In the 15+ years since forming, recording and touring the US, UK and EU, I feasted my eyes on what the remains of a deconstructed corpse only the ravages of time could have brought to fruition or, in this case, (near) complete rot.

With most of the tracks in The Lovely Eggs repertoire culminating at or around the three-minute mark, I find myself wondering how at present, about 30 minutes in, we’re only at song three?  The thought doesn’t last long because it’s knocked out of the back of the head by a Poundland football.  I guess you can take the band and audience out of Lancaster but you can’t take Lancaster out of the audience and band.  Peroxided Holly Ross clad in a pink dress, yellow tights, and brown alligator loafers adjacent partner David (an off the shelf Joey Ramone lookalike with freshly dyed mop) Blackwell hung on to the stage like a drunk hangs off a bar, far longer than necessary.  The goddamned gig was a cider-soaked monologue, full of clever quips and anecdotes, indulgent you say? Don’t mind if I do.  We were regaled with what their kid had for tea that day, it lasted 5+ minutes.  Or how checking out early from your hotel can help you beat a congestion charge.  Or other classics like, “hey, are you drunk yet? How much have you had to drink? The bar’s closed now? Why is the bar closed? I’m going to take my phone out and call the venue! It’s ringing!”  The only thing ringing for me was the sound of a bell calling a TKO, I left the gig.  That’s not to say you should too, or even avoid going to see this diluted-duo!

Most of the audience was in their late 40s to mid 50s (I’m not an ageist, I’m old too but these lot looked closer to being in their 60s).  I’ve never actually heard a couple next to me complain that their neck would ache from having to lean against and look up at an elevated stage for the duration of a performance.  The clueless husk next to me in a flak jacket kept yelling ‘TURN THE GUITAR UP’ and answering every fucking rhetorical question fielded at the audience at full blast.  The cherry on the Sunday was when Holly picked out the most pickled group and beckoned them to the front of the stage.  Next to me.  I was repeatedly accosted and groped by the three sloppily drunk women as they spilt their drinks all over themselves and me.  If this sounds like you or someone you know, get yourself to a Lovely Eggs show near you, you’ll have a blast!

Don’t get me wrong there were some redeeming factors.  Leaving early meant I beat the ‘crowd’.  Also, it was pouring rain outside when I left which washed off the drinks spilt on me.  There was also a great pre-gig playlist with hard worn classics like, Flaming Lips’ ‘Tangerine’ and Bikini Kills’ ‘Carnival’, and a great animated backdrop full of stop motion shorts paired with the performance.  Hell, even TLE sound was excellent but nothing would be enough to have me swallow another century egg personally.

Photo: Hana Harrison

Line ups like this are few and far between, staunch DIY flag bearers The Lovely Eggs are currently travelling their way across the country playing to sold out crowds. Add to this Porky The Poet (better known as Phil Jupitus) and tonight Teesside duo Mouses who open the show in typically emphatic style. With both Ste and Nathan occupying the front of the stage they tear through an exceptionally raucous set.

It’s a set that is packed with new tracks that have this exuberant crowd bouncing along, but you really cannot go past some of their older tracks such as ‘Green’. We do always wind up questioning why this pair aren’t one of the biggest bands in the country though, their unbridled madness and infallible enthusiasm really sets up the evenings proceedings. As Ste ends their set in the crowd, Mouses certainly leave a good impression tonight. 

Porky The Poet is then announced to the crowd and on walks Jupitus, what follows is a witty jaunt through a variety of music related topics, such as tours with Madness and the rather brilliant rant about Fat Mods better known as Paul Weller fans. Some of whom were even present in this evenings crowd, whilst it might have been uncomfortable for them, the rest of us certainly enjoyed Jupitus’ quips. 

His charm and wit filling the room with appreciative laughter alongside appreciative silence, something which is all too often difficult to come by at these sort of shows. The inclusion of spoken word adds that little something extra to tonight’s show and it is very welcomed as The Lovely Eggs are hardly known for doing things by the book. Something which is undoubtedly evident throughout tonight’s set.

The pair take to the stage to a rapturous reception and open with ‘I’m With You’, and from there it’s a wild jaunt through their as yet unreleased This Is Eggland as well as a plethora of old favourites. The likes of ‘Wiggy Giggy’ receives as much adoration as ‘Goofin’ Around (In Lancashire)'. However, you cannot beat a sold out crowd screaming along to the brilliant ‘People Are Twats’ at the top of their voices.

There is something so wonderfully British about this duo, they seem to have the feelings of the downtrodden hacked off underclasses down to a tee. Both ‘Dickhead’ and ‘Fuck It’ are definite favourites of ours tonight, yet there is also the downright bizarre from the duo with the likes of ‘Magic Onion’ being another favourite of ours. 

The pair pull off shambolic nonsense with such existential brilliance it makes everything more entertaining, with Jupitus even returning to the stage at one point whilst they fixed their equipment. In all honesty though no one really cared if they screwed up a bit, The Lovely Eggs brought the party to another sold out crowd and everyone truly loved it. One of the most endearing and exciting bands in the country right now a truly exceptional show from the duo!