Welcome to HeartSongs, our regularly scheduled (probably) look at songs and the people who write them. We spoke to Benjamin Shaw about his new single ‘Terrible Feelings!’.

“I think ‘Terrible Feelings!’ was the first song I really sat down to write for this album. And the first new song I’d come up with in what felt like a very long time. The title came first definitely (with punctuation and everything - some of my finest work I think) and even became the inspirational album title for a while, Benjamin Shaw sings… Terrible Feelings!, I still think I missed a trick there.

At risk of a lawsuit, I’m pretty sure the melody came to me while I was listening to the only other artist from my home town of Blackpool in the UK, Jack Cooper. I’m not even sure which song because I can’t pick it out now, but the melody was nothing like his (I swear). I quickly turned it off and recorded mine on my phone there and then, and built on it from there - repeating and moving patterns and found sounds on the laptop, which seems to have become my way over the years. Shouts out Jack Cooper, he doesn’t know me, but his album Sandgrown is sweet.

Lyrically, as with most of my songs, it started out as a collection of short insults about my work colleagues that I put into Google Keep whenever they come into my head. My Google Keep is substantial. And then, as always, when I sit down to try and arrange the insults into an actual song and do something creative, my own head starts creeping in and the songs quickly descend into self-obsessed artistic terror, self-pity, and in this case, Dirty Dancing references.

I’m a big fan of this song though. It felt like a turning point after having not written much for a good few years. I’d finally come up with an actual song, even if it was just terrible feelings.”

Listen to ‘Terrible Feelings!’ here

Lyrics:

Terrible Feelings!

Hey apocalypse, it's nice to know you still be trying

To lift me by the hips

And make believe like I be flying away,

you're all terrible people, with terrible clothes, go away

but I don't care, I got no dog in the race

So do me a solid, do me again and again

terrible feelings but I got nothing to say

Aw hey its you, I don't forget a face

Naw I'll do it, it's a piece of cake

ah've nothing to hide, I just wanna go home today

oh it'll blow over, everyone makes mistakes

Following the recent release of Cloud’s final album Plays with Fire, Audio Antihero have shared The Desperation Club; a monster tribute compilation celebrating ten years of Cloud.

“Community and care has always been at the core of Cloud’s music and we’re grateful to be able to share these reworks of his songs new and old by artists from his hometown, fans from abroad, Audio Antihero alumni, collaborators and even family members.

Across these thirty five songs you will find Cloud’s music and words revised as pop, electronica, drone, flamenco, shoegaze, lo-fi, slowcore, black metal and more. The set also includes a previously unreleased recording from Cloud, along with new recordings from Samira Winter, Benjamin Shaw, Magana, Jack Hayter, Anthony Harding, Lorena Alvarado and more.

Everyone was given the freedom to approach any song they wanted in any way they wanted. Some roll beyond ten minutes, some barely make it to two minutes. Some skip passages or abandon the lyrics entirely but all celebrate the community of care and collaboration that Cloud and Practice Room Records began to develop in Smithtown, Long Island over ten years ago.”

Tyler Taormina AKA Cloud says of the project, “This has been an incredibly warming and strange experience over the past few months for Jamie from Audio Antihero and I to hear covers from our friends coming in. Each one brought to me a sense of nostalgia for the song being covered, when it was written/recorded or simply remembering the fact that the song had existed. And laced with that feeling was the comforting presence of a friend who was singing the new version, their interpretation of the tune many times actually better performed than the original versions, some of which date back to when I was 18 old. I’ve heard all of the covers once and had a really intense experience nearly every time I heard them. I’m not sure if I can hear them all again but I know the impressions they’ve left on me are enormous and speak volumes to the talent of the friends that I’ve made throughout the years.

I’m quite glad we did this for a few reasons, and I must say the main reason is to prompt these friends of mine to keep making as much music as they possibly can before we all get old and boring. Thanks everyone for contributing and for listening and supporting Cloud over the years. For new listeners, I hope that this compilation can serve as a guide to some of the tunes we’ve been brewing up over the years”.

Check it out on bandcamp